


And Yet the Dawn Will Come, Eventually

by BloodDemonLove



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Past Rape/Non-con, Protective Iron Bull, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, The Fade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 09:01:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6464134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodDemonLove/pseuds/BloodDemonLove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the brutal attack on the Inquisitor at the hands of some rogue Templars, Iron Bull is wracked with guilt, both over what had happened and his reaction, which was less than under control. Mahanon is on the slow road to recovery, but will the absence of his lover hinder or help the process?</p>
<p>4-3 revised the ending and fixed spelling errors</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Yet the Dawn Will Come, Eventually

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if the author of the original fic is still planning on making a sequel to it but I couldn't NOT write one myself. No matter how many other fics I read, I always came back to that one so, here it is! If they are writing a sequel, I'm sorry, not sorry. This is only my version of what would've happened. 
> 
> The usual disclaimers, I own none of these characters, not even the inquisitor.

It had been weeks since Ser Barris had rescued the Inquisitor and company and it seemed the group was nowhere near recovery. Most of the physical wounds had healed, of course, but the more obvious injuries were more emotional and mental. Krem and Skinner had their own coping methods, though it was more from what they'd witnessed rather than experienced. Especially for Krem. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could picture was Lavellan's bloody, bitten mouth, the blood running down his thighs, and the sheer burning, murderous fury in Bull's eyes as he casually ripped the door off it's hinges. Lavellan's screams, crumbling metal, grunts and scratches, the deafening silence. He'd barely slept more than a couple hours at a time since returning to Skyhold. It showed in dark bags under his eyes, the almost listless look on his face, in how he stumbled almost everywhere he went. It got to the point where Iron Bull sat his lieutenant down and demanded he speak. "It's nothing, Chief, just trying to process everything."

It didn't escape Bull that Krem would not look him in the eyes. "Bullshit. You won't look me in the face and you haven't slept properly in weeks. What's going through that stubborn head of yours." Bull spoke bluntly, crossing his arms over his chest and fixing his one good eye on the man he, in his head, called kadan (as a friend, of course. Lavellan was his true Kadan).

Krem took a deep breath and gathered his thoughts. He knew it wouldn't have escaped the Chief's noticed for long but he hadn't expected it to come so soon. "Well, I wasn't lying when I said I was processing everything. It just wasn't...the whole truth." 

He paused, thinking about what to say next. "The images....what we saw...it won't leave me alone." Almost as if the floodgates had opened, it all came out in a rushing force. "Every time I close my eyes, all I can see is the blood on his face, on his body. All I hear is his screams, the grunts and scratches, the laughs of the Templars. It all plays on a loop in my head and I can't escape it!" He blushed faintly at the outburst, thankful that they were somewhere away from the rest of Skyhold.

Bull nodded. He'd thought as much, not quite in that detail, but he wasn't under any illusions that any of them would come out of something like that without some sort of emotional and mental scarring. But, at the same time, he could tell it that wasn't all that was bugging Krem. "And? What else is on your mind, Krem. I may only have one eye but I'm not blind. Something else is bothering you. Out with it."

The prodding was just enough, all the emotions that had been building up over the past just exploded. "What's bugging me was the look on your face, the pure bloody fury, unaware of anything but the desire to kill and keep on killing. It's haunted me since we got out of there because at that moment I know that you wouldn't have recognized me, or Skinner, and could've easily killed us in your rampage. I didn't know how to reach you, or how you would react and it fucking terrified me! At that moment, you weren't the Iron Bull, my commander. You were a ruthless killing machine like the Tal-Vashoth in Seheron." The sheer force of the confession, and it's subject, was enough to rock Bull back on his seat. 

He honestly hadn't thought about that. "Krem...."

His lieutenant shook his head and stood up, "I'm going for a drink. Alone." The hint of an underlying order to leave him alone was enough.

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Alone in his chambers, the Inquisitor shifted in a restless sleep brought on by drugs. It was the only way to get him to sleep nowadays, the sheer nightmares of that behemoth alone had him bolting upright and aggravating his barely healing wounds. He already was under order to not speak or move his mouth as much as possible to let the scabs heal into scars around his lips. Every time he woke up from a nightmare, the scabs would crack and the process would begin again. Drugs were the last resort to keep him relatively motionless. But it wasn't necessarily better for his psyche. It left him trapped in the nightmares, unable to wake up enough to shed them.

When he was awake, all he wanted was to have Bull at his side. But without the use of his mouth, there was no way to ask for the qunari, and said qunari was already avoiding him like the Blight.  _This is it. This is where he avoids me until what we had dissolves into nothing. I'm too broken for him now, to soiled. Commitment was barely existent under the Qun anyways._ Was his daily thought process. 

No one noticed that the emotional turmoil and the nightmares were doing more damage than the physical wounds except for Solas, who finally made the trip up to see him. One look had him yelling at the healers about the drugs they'd been using. "There are better ways to send someone to sleep without trapping them in it! Can't you see that the nightmares are tearing him apart?!"

The healers stammered some meaningless reply while Solas made his way to the bed. "Oh, Lethalin, I'm sorry I didn't come by sooner.... Tonight will be a better night, I promise."

The next thing Lavellan was aware of, he was standing in a memory of Haven. One hand went to his mouth and found the skin flawlessly smooth. "Where...?"

"The Fade, obviously."

He whirled around, "Solas! Why are we here? What's going on?"

"I brought you here to give you a night of peaceful rest, and to apologize for not realizing this sooner. The nightmares were just as bad as the physical wounds and those blighted healers didn't realize that." Solas looked slightly remorseful, which was more expression than one usually got from the stoic mage. 

"Oh. Well, um, it is nice to be free of that for a while. The constant loop was making me feel more numb than anything else. Where's Bull? Is he doing okay?" Lavellan immediately asked, finally able to voice the questions that had been plaguing him since he had first become lucid. 

"He's....coping. Not well, but everyone tries to keep him going."

"Why has he not come to see me? I've missed him terribly and now it feels like he's avoiding me. Are we....done? Does he not want me anymore?" The questions were more to the empty air than to Solas himself but the mage caught them anyways.

"He was afraid you wouldn't want him around. Even Krem seems to be scared of Bull now, after what I've heard was a horrendous display of raw rage and pain."

Lavellan thought for a moment, then asked, "Could you pass him a message? Just tell him that I need him. I don't think I'll be able to move on without him there. What he did was to protect me, after all."

Solas nodded, "As you wish. Now, I all will wish you the best of luck in recovery. I'll try to come by occasionally to check up on you. It's time for you to  _wake up!"_

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Solas awoke, the first thing he did was seek out the qunari. He found him in his usual spot in the tavern, drinking himself senseless as was usual nowadays. "Iron Bull, I've been tasked to pass along a message from our dear Inquisitor. It seems he really misses you and would be rather pleased to see you in his quarters at some point today." Solas paused, then added his own bit, "It seems also that his recovery is highly dependant on being close to you. I suspect it has something to do with your relationship and the events that took place to injure him so grievously. It is my recommendation that you go to Lavellan sooner rather than later."

Without waiting for a response, Solas turned and left the tavern. Iron Bull watched him leave and took a good thirty seconds to process what had been told to him. Ten minutes later found him at the door to the Inquisitor's quarters and here he hesitated. Was he really wanted? Or was this a ruse so he could be told to take the Chargers and leave? But it was time he realty with the consequences of his actions, though, and he Steele's himself with a deep breath. 

Entering the chambers, he saw Lavellan laying prone on the bed, eyes slightly open in a drowsey state. "Kadan...."

Those brilliant eyes opened fully and he looked back at him. Though he didn't move his mouth much, Bull could tell that Lavellan was smiling. There was obvious forgiveness in his eyes, and that was enough for Bull. He fell to his knees next to the bed, one large hand finding Lavellan's and holding it gingerly. "I'm so sorry, Kadan, for so many things. But I am not sorry for how I acted while we we're in captivity. I-"

He was paused by a finger over his lips, which he slowly drew in to suck lightly. A momentary flash of heat in his Kadan's eyes told him the action had been accepted, as well as his apology. Releasing the finger, he spoke once more, "If you don't want to continue the physical side of our relationship, I completely understand, and-"

He was stopped again by two ring we rs pushing into his mouth, with a look that clearly stated 'don't you dare stop'. 

Bull chuckled around the fingers and removed them, "okay, I get it. But we are NOT doing anything until you're completely healed from this. And I mean it. But I will be here for as long as you need me. Now rest Kadan. You need it."

Lavellan fell asleep easily and, for once, was not plagued by nightmares. All was well now that his vhenan was back at his side.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, well, I wrote this in about two and a half hours. The ending is crappy and I'll probably end up revising it. Kudos and comments are more than welcome!


End file.
